If I could send a letter to my 18-year-old self, I’d probably start by trying to gain her curiosity. There are many advices, confessions, secrets and even revelations I could share with that young lady, but I’m scared she won’t listen to me so easily, so I’d really have to make an impression on her. I’d better be witty and dazzling to get her brain working on my ideas. The thing is that I’m not sure if my 18-year-old self would have mercy enough on me. She may think I’m a living contradiction, probably she would scan me with tons of suspicion, surely thinking I’m not a trustworthy advisor, and yeah, no doubt she won’t accept my lifestyle or whatever this thing I’m doing every day is. My 18-year-old self is going to be relentless with me, so I better sound smart and coherent in that letter.
‘Dear Carmen, don’t worry, trust me, no matter what happens, you don’t worry about anyone, everyone will be fine, but girl, please, worry about you!’ no, no, no… she will probably take it as a joke if she read that…. ‘Dear Carmen, I love you so much… please you have to love yourself, you are so wonderful, you deserve whatever you dream of!’ All right, she wouldn’t understand anything at all about that, she’ll think I’ve become a hare krishna monk, ok, I know, ‘Dear Carmen, don’t loose your time doing work for others and work for yourself as much as you can’... bad idea though, she just wants to have fun, jeez! let me try one last time ‘ Dear Carmen, this is me, I’m writing to you from the future to threaten you, so you little brat, listen to me...’ what am I doing? she’s going to think I’ve become a bad person…
I give up on this one, sweet 18-year-old me intimidates me too much, she thinks she knows everything, so I better let her be, after all, only when the time comes, when the things happen, when everything crumbles and the mess runs, will she understand… and I’m sure she will decide not to write her 18-year-old self this letter.
